Film Brief: The Black Phone

The Blumhouse stamp has come to mean good, direct and to-the-point scary entertainment without a lot of hokum or hocus-pocus. Sadly, The Black Phone does not meet expectations, despite engaging, spirited starting titles and compelling early development.

Quickly enough, The Black Phone reveals itself to be a boring, trite, re-tread of a film. I didn’t put a score down contemporaneously, so let’s say 4/10.

Comparison Notes: Don’t Breathe, a million other mediocre nearly identical films, and some good ones

zuhause: Light from Light

Light from Light was recommended, if I recollect, by Apple as a “New & Noteworthy” film; intrigued, I added it to my ever-more-monstrously-large Wish List. It’s short, 82 minutes, and has a 93% Tomatometer score, so I gave it whirl.

Those who follow my blog know that I’m not supposed to give a hoot about Tomatometer scores, but, I admit, 93% holds a little sway for a small film like this that I know nothing about. The Tomatometer didn’t exactly break on this one, but I was hardly as gaga as the few critics who recommended it (only seven “top critics”).

I found Light from Light a quiet little film, lovely — to a degree, but hardly earth-shattering. I reckon it fit my mood, even if the story was a bit wanting. Something was kinda sweet about it, even though, in a sense, almost nothing happens. Look at it another way and plenty happens. The little romantic elements in it combine with a sphere of details to form a complete picture, and ultimately a satisfying one.

Back to the Tomatometer — I disagree with the critic who said “it is a gem likely to stay with anyone smart enough to seek it out.” Gem is a strong word here, and I can’t see thinking about this movie in as little as a year from now. Recommended, though, with the standard caveat-pack. 6/10

Comparison Notes: A Ghost Story, Certain Women, Winter’s Bone, To the Wonder

Film Brief: Pet Sematary [u]

Boring, yawn.  A story seed riddled with holes of both logic and execution.  On the other hand, I suppose if you’ve never seen a supernatural horror movie, you might be impressed.  I’ve seen one or two, so I’m not.  I can say I did like the cat, and I always enjoy John Lithgow — but boy he could be doing so much better stuff than this and I wish he would.  I think he should team up with Tim Robbins.

Upon watching this movie in Yuma, I had a note on convenience versus convention, but can’t remember it now.  I think both apply to Pet Sematary.  2/10

UPDATE 7/1/19: 2/10 is low.  It wasn’t that bad.  3/10

VOD Log: A Ghost Story

I’ll start with a side note.  I saw the trailer for A Ghost Story about three times, I think two of which were at an AMC.  And then the local AMCs collectively failed to ever show the film, or if they did it was for no more than a week or a day.  When it was still showing in theaters outside my area, e.g. in LA, I went to one of the main AMCs to watch another film and was surprised to see a super-sized lobby cardboard poster display for the film.  I inquired about it, and was told there were no plans to show the film.

A theater showing trailers and setting large promotional items on display for a movie seems only to make sense if said theater will at some point show the movie.  But that’s indicative of numerous areas of mismanagement on the part of AMC.  I went to a film lately and a couple of the seats had such a strong fecal odor I moved.

* * *

I point out the AMC nonsense above because I felt like A Ghost Story, starring consummate actors Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara, was one of the more significant indies of the year, and given short shrift by the cinemas.  Nonetheless, I was determined to watch it to consider among the films of 2017, so I did something that is rare for me these days: saw it at home.

The movie is intriguing, and certainly compelling — but falls short of providing that grand a-ha moment.  In other words, I liked it despite a thin story.  7/10

* * *

Note: This film is presented in a square (1.33:1) frame with rounded corners, for no particularly obvious or excellent reason.  An affectation, perhaps, but in this case it does not distract from the movie — unlike in American Honey.  I like a lot that A24 Films does, but the square frame trend I hope can be put to rest.

Comparison Notes: Recommended: To The Wonder; Not Recommended: Ain’t Them Bodies Saints (previous project with Affleck and Mara)

Film Brief: Thelma

Not to be confused with Thelma and Louise.  It’s just Thelma here.

Knowing filmmaking locked onto a tight character-driven story kept me enrapt.

Note: Two Norwegian films within a month of one-another: what’s going on?  Is Norway the new France for film?

SPOILER ALERT:  I suggest watching only HALF of the trailer below.  It gives away too much.

8/10

Comparison Notes: Recommended: Donnie Darko, Sleeping Beauty, The Craft; Not recommended: Ich Seh Ich Seh, The Square, Raw.  A number of similarities exist between Raw and Thelma.  Thelma is the right way to do it.

Personal Shopper in a Double-Medium

Kristen Stewart as a personal shopper, yes.  A lackadaisical, blasé medium, no.

I’m not saying Stewart is a bad actress, but in no way shape or form did I buy her as any sort of psychic.  And I suppose I am saying it: she was just playing herself in Personal Shopper, down to her unmasked and incongruous tattoos.  It wasn’t pretty.  Kristen Stewart, I am certain, has zero psychic abilities, and her thinly veiled character didn’t either.

 

 

 

It’s nothing against Stewart, not personally or anything.  I liked her in last year’s Café Society and Certain Women.  She’s good when she’s playing herself.

Beyond all that, Personal Shopper was hurt by an incompetent filmmaking approach.  Not only did I not believe Kristen Stewart, I didn’t buy the vomited ectoplasm.  I mean really, if you’re trying to blend reality with the spiritual world take a cue from David Lynch.  Or at the very least Alejandro Iñárritu.  4/10

Comparison Notes (all recommended): the Patricia Arquette series Medium was a vastly superior portrayal, and a convincing one, of the everyday working psychic.  Everyday, yet not blasé about it.  In movies we have: Sleeping Beauty, Drive, Safety Not Guaranteed, Antichrist, Twin Peaks FWWM, Wild at Heart, Vertigo, Belle de Jour

The Conjuring of Little Emotion

If you’ve never seen a haunted house movie, The Conjuring might be scary to you.  For a standard haunt-flick, it’s relatively well executed.  But the problem is : The Haunting (1963), The Exorcist, Poltergeist, and Paranormal Activity all exist.  So do The Ring, Cure, Drag Me to Hell, and The Uninvited.  And so do about 180,000 other haunted house / haunted spirit movies.  The Conjuring did not bring anything new to the party.

I think there is a core popularity to the haunted house movie that connects to the public’s obsession with Halloween.  It’s not that it’s that outlandishly scary to people, but they are entertained nonetheless.  My problem is that I’m not entertained.  It’s — as Simon Cowell would say — all a bit boring to me.  I’ve seen this a thousand times before, so all the flagellations, spasms and contortions in the world don’t get my juices flowing.  What excites me is a good scary story.

Most often the scariest movies are ones that are solidly non-supernatural.  Give me something truly “Insidious” like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Dead Calm, Orphan, or The Shining.

In The Conjuring, the house wasn’t that creepy, and a pseudo-historical context wasn’t taken advantage of, and neither was a very cool boggy backyard pond.  At the beginning we are informed that the movie is based on a true story.  Yea right.  There wasn’t even anything conjured, especially not fear.  3/10

Absolutely Sinister – NOT!

I kept wanting to watch Sinister when it was in theaters last year, because I like a good horror flick and I’m a fan of Ethan Hawke, but mixed ratings kept me away.  Now I understand the negative reviews.  It is your basic haunted house movie, but not a good one.  It’s highly unoriginal, not scary at all — except for the first scene, and at times farcically corny.  And it has a lot of “stupid” problems like the main character (Hawke) screaming his head off — multiple times — without waking any family members.

What I don’t get is that a lot of people thought this was a good movie.  A lot of people who supposedly are fans of the genre, which means they’ve seen good fantasy/horror/haunted spirit movies, can’t tell the difference.  Maybe the problem is that though there are a few standouts like The Ring, The Shining, and Poltergeist, the vast majority of these movies are pretty bad.  So make yourself a fan of the genre and it all blends together.  Just a theory.

Paranormal Activity

For a much better haunted house movie, see Paranormal Activity (2007) if you haven’t already.  Or even if you have – Paranormal Activity a second time through is better than Sinister the first.  I looked back at my comments on Paranormal Activity — I had given it a 7/10.  Thinking more about it now, I’d say it was more scary than a 7 — so I’m bumping it to an 8.  Keep in mind I am talking about the original of the series; I have not seen any of the sequels.

On a positive note, I watched Sinister shortly before going to bed, and it certainly did not keep me from sleeping.  It just wasn’t scary.  2/10, which is generous.

* * *

This movie makes me rethink my opinion of Mama (2/10), because I didn’t dislike Sinister quite so much as to give it a 1 rating, and Mama was clearly better than Sinister.  I think Mama has got to be at least a 3 — still not recommended, but better than I originally thought given the genre.  It emphasizes how difficult it is to make good horror, especially of the supernatural variety.  Almost as difficult as good comedy.

Film Brief: Mama

There is a cabin in the woods, but Mama is no Cabin in the Woods — one of the best pictures of last year (see prior post & Best of 2012 list).  Mama instead is more along the lines of The Grudge — a couple startling “boo!” moments, but otherwise flat.  An asset I suppose is it does bring to mind the mystery and wonder of The Ring [prior post].  It’s too bad, because it’s a good premise, in concept anyway, gone to waste: two young sisters left to fend for themselves in the wilderness for five years, then the feral beings reintroduced to society.  Decent performances including the star Jessica Chastain, but it’s not worth it. 2/10.

The first two movies of 2013 have been baaad.  Hopefully the third one breaks the trend.

Update: The Craft

On my posting on The Craft, I gave it an 8/10 but said I was on the border of a 9 rating.  Well, it was on again tonight and after about 90 seconds of it, it hit me what a great movie this is.  Definitely a 9/10.